Throwing stuff

There was once upon a time in a land cloudy and not so rainy, known as Land of the Cloud, as quint as that sounds and not as awesome, and a stereotypical land of blonde Japanese ninjas of dark skin descent. Only a few were yellow or pink like the inland predecessors, but most were blondes and had blue eyes. In this case, there was one who had cyan eyes, was white, and nobody ever knew his true hair color, and how he really looks like besides the slit that exposes his eyes as he wore a traditional ninja wear. This man, Nanashi, was in someone's house, taking food out of a fridge as he doesn't really take missions, so he must find a way to get food since he spends most of his money on PlayNin. Yeah... except this was some stranger's house known as Maxwell, and Nanashi was stealing Maxwell's food and booze in his kitchen by the bed room, window open and all which shows how Nanashi got in.

Maxwell was walking up the stairs up to his apartment from the hot springs that the apartment complex provided due to it's location. With a towel around his neck and waist, Maxwell whistled as he neared his floor. Walking over the carpeted hallway he couldn't help but have an epiphany about the excess of blond haired blue eyed ninjas in the village. In fact, he believed that he was the only one of his kind throughout the entire cloudy village. Dark hair, white eyes, and even whiter skin. For something so vague and unspecific Maxwell was a somewhat oddity. Nearing his room, Maxwell noticed his door was cracked open slightly. Worried about what this may be about, considering that he had no reason to think of for an enemy to invade his personal space, his paranoia began to build up. Activating his Byakugan, Maxwell saw right through the walls and right at the intruder as he pilfered his very own fridge. The fiend seemed desperate, and that meant that he could be capable of desperate measures. Forming the proper hand signs outside the door, Maxwell quickly kicked the door open. "Water Release : Syrup Capture Field."" Maxwell immediately spewed viscous water from his mouth, easily spreading throughout the floor of the small apartment.

And so, Nanashi was just finishing up in taking the food out of Maxwell's fridge, stuffing them into his pants and his robed shirt, pulling out of his pocket a note and placing it on the counter next to the fridge which reads as follows:

Quote :

Dearest of Idiots,

I have invaded your vital regions and conquered you! You are ruined, you are destroyed.

Your fridge is now as empty as your anus, beware and harken to the Random En Pee See Ninja That Appears in Ambushes and can get knocked out in a single move, but really, I am tougher because I am badass, you uncle donkey fucking piece of turnip. Ha. Ha. Ha.

- That Ninja

P.S: Your mother is a whore, because I fucked her.

After placing that note, turning around, Nanashi was just fortunate to catch sight of a Maxwell kicking down the door, which suddenly had Nanashi instinctively bolting to his side before the jutsu got remotely close to him as he leaps past the window, landing on another rooftop to which it was flat, and runs across it in a mighty furious sprint, dropping along an occasional chicken leg along the way as he was running, looking like a constipating fat butt with all the food stuffed in his clothing.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!"

Watching the thief jump out the window Maxwell jumped to the bed and out the window all the while grabbing a baseball bat. Landing on the same roof Maxwell ran up to a dropped piece of chicken. While doing so, he reared back with the bat and swung it down and forward in an arc as if playing some form of golf. The bat connected with the chicken, sending it forward at a high speed to connect with the back of the the robber's head. "How dare you rob from me you bastard!"

The chicken hadn't really caused much of a damage unto the thief as much as it had caused him to stumble wildly, not exactly hurting him since his cloth cushioned most of the impact and then the chicken wasn't exactly hard, it was hit from the meatiest part that hit behind Nanashi's head which caused him to run unusually faster as he stumbled and lost balance. Falling down the edge as he lands into a stack of hay on a cart, popping out of it suddenly as he left more chicken trail along whilst sprinting faster, shocked as to what the fuck just hit his head. Running into an alleyway and leaping into an open window of a house to which he merely stopped and didn't bother running. Rather he was in a bed room to which a smile outline formed on his mask.

"Well well... hello ladies!" He says, waving as they stared at him awkwardly, yeah, a group of chicks lacking garments, who cares about running away when you interrupted a pillow fighting session? NANASHI! That's who.

Maxwell lost his balance for a second due to him making such a large swing with the bat but quickly recovered. He then proceeded to smile as his attack connected and made his opponent fall on to the street below. Running up to the edge of the building, he caught sight of the man running down a busy street. Even though the streets were busy, a man in all black dropping pieces of chicken wasn't that hard to lose. Jumping from roof top to rooftop and giving the people underneath him a show as they all loved to stare up his towel at what seemed like a limp snake biting and clinging onto the man's crotch.

As the robber turned a corner and as Maxwell followed, he witnessed the man leap into a window. Following with his feet dirty and slightly bleeding due to the debris in the alleyway Maxwell jumped into the window. Rolling on the ground, the robber was in sight at the end of a hallway in another room. Taking a running start, Maxwell jumped with his right foot extended straight aimed for the man's torso. "GIVE ME BACK MY CHICKEN!" Because of his attack, his shaved goods were for all to see.

As the girls were staring awkwardly at the man who was in their room, covering themselves up with blankets as one of them reaches for the phone for the police, Nanashi was too busy looking at the lizzies and before long, turns around when something about giving back someone's mittens was yelled... or was it chickens? ANYWAYS, point was, Nanashi got hit by the torso, white liquid sprayed out which was not what exactly sticky, so it was safely assumed to be a plastic milk bottle that was hit as it sprayed all across the room, Nanashi being thrown into a bunch of cushions and pillows leftover by the girls from the pillow fight they had...

Five minutes later.

"These are the ones officer! That's the man right there who tried to rape us!"

Normally one would assume the blond chick was pointing to Nanashi, but in this case... it was Maxwell being handcuffed.

"He hurt this poor man, and he deserves a compensation for the damage he got, he looks like a pervert... but he shouldn't have gotten hit by an even bigger pervert! That was just plain wrong."

And so, after Maxwell being hauled to jail and Nanashi given a jail-free card, with the girls pressing charges on Maxwell...


-Court Day-

And so, Nanashi was in the witness stand in the court room, which looked so Japanese, whilst the judge was listening to the story of one of the blonde girls as the court was moved to tears, whilst Maxwell, just so HAPPENED to be in the defendant's stand as an anti-Chakra barrier was erect around him, rightfully so since he is a CRIMINAL SCUMBAG. Nanashi the most dashing, just so happens to be in his typical ninja attire, I mean it's as formal as he gets in a ninja town which is the important point, which makes him ever so fancy. Anyways, the chick explains what happened from what she's seen which is JUST about to end.

"...And then he came in, stark naked, he even... he even touched himself and defaced us and this honorable man right there! He has violated our rights as women and that man's rights as a... well, a man, since he was covered in wet whiteness which we'd know that he gets off of this SICK VIOLENCE." The prosecutor says, which just so happens to be one of the girls.

"What say you, Nanashi-san, as one of the witness AND a victim, is all of this true?" The judge asks.

"Yes, your highness."

"It's grace, I am a judge."

"Well... fine, Jashin, thank you for granting me this dinner for the times I have..."

"YOU REFER TO ME AS GRACE! I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT DINNER GRACE YOU BLOODY SOD."

"Ohhhh, that, you should've said so, fucker of asses. Anyways, he tried to RAPE ME! He was a horny bastard who ultimately wanted an orgy of rape with me and those POOR stupi-- smart chicks over there, who just happen to be smartly smarty smartest of smarts, I mean why would he be chasing me across a rooftop naked? I was just minding my business as I always do, trying to help out an orphan or two, I even gave little Timmy a pat on the back but then I was chased by this serial mad rapist, I mean LOOK AT HIS EYES! They scream rapist, they just have... no soul, they are the Devil's proof that the defendant is EVIL and GUILTY."

The audience all snap an angry look at Maxwell, along with the judge to which he would ask, "And what would you say about this, Maxwell? Explain yourself... the evidence we have here and the allegations against you are quite compelling. Especially taking into account of your eyes which are by far, makes me know that there are some that are tainted by evil."

Maxwell simply stood up at the judges query. A moment of silence passed and his fists slammed on the desk in front of him over and over again. "OBJECTION! OBJECTION! OBJECTION!" Maxwell furiously pointed his right index finger at the obscure ninja. "I cannot count all the flaws about that statement that I believe that my sense of justice itself was warped. I actually believe that the human race's moral fibers have been twisted by simply sharing the same existence. The oddity that you consider everything said as evidence makes me fear for the future but comforts me knowing the fact that I can relax knowing that my fate is more then likely already decided if the jury is anything like yourself."

Maxwell proceeded to sit down in his seat with his hands together and let out a sigh. "As I've said before: This man was a thief, to which he had previously admitted to, who decided to steal all of my favorite food right after I had just left the hotel hot springs. I did not have time to dress when I found the culprit and chased him down, which lead to the predicament we are all in now. So please, I ask of you, don't be an idiot. Let me go." Maxwell gave a fake, but convincingly innocent smile.

The judge's face twisted to a scowl upon the pompous accusations made by the girl-faced boy casted upon him that slanders his intelligence so. Becoming so furious with a great mighty anger that veins would become prominent on his features. To which he had gripped the gavel so hard, and slammed it unto the base to which it snaps from how hard he hit it, so hard that the hammer end would fly off as he stood up, frowning heavily. The crowd themselves appearing most displeased with Maxwell's insensitive statements since he just insulted an honorable and smart judge who was honorable and smart.

"GUILTY ON THE COUNTS OF CONTEMPT OF COURT, AND OF ATTEMPTED RAPE AND ASSAULT! I'd rather be the idiot who conducts things justly rather than the smart-ass like yourself who does things with corruption. You clearly have no decency against the homeless, and against the defenseless women of our land, I sentence you to dea--"

Nanashi, quickly thinking, "Umm..." AHEM, NANASHI, QUICKLY THINKING, "Oh right! OBJECTION! Judge! Since he bullies the homeless with such hate in him and stuff, I want to be granted a home at his expense, I mean it should be fair he provides for me and would learn to respect us without homes by teaching him humility, that, and I need someone to soak up the Kunai for me, I mean I am a ninja and all, staking my life for my country and stuff, and I barely even get enough pay because I send that money to my sick mother who happens to be dying of lupus."

He crossed his fingers behind his back.

"Very well... as an upstanding member of the community, I'll grant you your request, Nanashi-dono," He shifted his gaze to Maxwell, "And what say you Maxwell? It is either you will be sentenced to death by quartering or you have to atone for your sins by providing Nanashi-dono a home and buying him whatever food he requires and medicine as well."

Tensing up his fists out of regret from what he was about to subject himself to, Maxwell spoke with his head hung low. "If death is the only other option, then I feel that I'll have to accept the alternative. So Mr. Nanashi, I shall pay for your finances until one of us dies. I will let this be known though, I will not enjoy a single bit of it."

OCC: Sorry it's short...I'm kinda busy today.

(OOC: Busy with what? You don't have time for your best friend? EH?!)

"Very well, Maxwell's sentence is to forever cater to Nanashi-san's needs, to provide food, booze, and PlayNin magazines, the latest when available at every week. If Nanashi finds a lack of such, he will be able to have Maxwell marked for death as a Missing nin. Court adjourned." He hits the gavel on the base of where it often hits as everyone disperses, the Police-nins uncuff Maxwell's hands as they escort him and Nanashi from the court, basically kicking both of them literally out.

Nanashi last heard glimpse of the judge being the judged in the next court case for being incompetent, but meh, these details are unimportant as Nanashi straightened his back, happy Nanashi is happy and all as he stood next to the Hyuuga, somehow forgetting all hostilities that existed between them.

"Isn't this such a wonderful day? I just got a big fucking whoop of MONEY and a house RIGHT under my belt from a sucke-- smartie! Whoo! Since you're my caretaker, where do you believe is the best place to start celebrating this GREAT victory? Eh?" Nanashi asked so enthusiastically.

Thus marked how Maxwell and Nanashi became thrown together in life as if by some cruel twist of fate. How this will fare for the two of them, no one can tell, but one can only hope it ends up beneficial.

[Topic Done]